TEN LIFE LESSONS I BLUNDERED INTO LEARNING

1. Wishful Shopping

No matter how cute they are, if the pants are too tight in the store, they’ll be too tight when you need to wear them. “But if I lose five pounds….” You won’t! 

2. Perfect color is not shoe size.

You’re going to kick them off midway through the play and get dirty looks when you have to fish for them under the seat in front of you. 

 

3. Thumbs up

You cannot button skinny jeans with a broken thumb. I know!

4. Don’t fight the fight you can’t win!

You can’t win an argument with a passive-aggressive person. They will have a comeback or excuse for whatever you say.

Do these sound familiar?      

“You told me to do it like that,” 

“Nobody told me to do it — or not to do it.”

“It’s not fair — everybody else does it and they don’t get in trouble.”

“You never listen to my side.”

“You just don’t like to hear the truth.”

“You don’t care how I feel.”

 

5. It takes all kinds. BUT WHY?

At every meeting, the one person who has the least of value to say will say the most and talk the longest — especially when you have somewhere else to go. AND then there’s the guy who doesn’t tell you he has a cold until AFTER you shake hands.

 

6. Formal dining.

The family that comes into the restaurant with an out-of-control child will be seated next to you.

7. Oops!

As soon as your street is paved, the city will dig it up again. Oops! We forgot the utility lines!

8. Don’t count on things you buy looking as good as they did in the pictures.

Those shiny stainless-steel faucets in the store will never be as shiny in your kitchen. Water spots are forever.

9. It’s a war you can’t win.

Those squirrels are not frolicking in the garden. They’re watching you and making maps to where the bulbs are planted. 

By the way, mousetraps don’t get rid of mice. They only amuse them. And that fly is NOT trying to find a way out of your house.

 

10. Be careful what you wish for.

Do you ever yearn for the old days and simpler times? You can relive the fun of defrosting your freezer. Just leave two cans of soda overnight.